I lost one of my most beloved family members this week. A family member who shaped many of the core characteristics of who I am since I was a child.

Loss of a loved one is impossibly hard in so many ways and for so many reasons. Dealing with loss... as a writer... has far more impact than I realized, though.

And while the impact is brutally painful, and the reality is that my perfectly controlled worlds will never be carried over into the plain of existence I currently inhabit, the impact of a loss on me as a writer shows me positive sides as well.

 Experiencing loss makes us human. The never-ending struggle with grief following the loss of a close loved one is exhausting, but it's one that most of us battle through. 

Some days will be better than others. 'They're in a better place,' some say, and yes, in this case I personally agree, but I'm not here to argue religion. "They're not in pain anymore," others will do their best to console, and yes, you know they're right, too. 

But where do we, Fantasy readers, often turn when societal norms seem to fail us?

If you're like me, you turn to books.

Books where characters struggle with life, death, love, loss, and more in richly-detailed glory.

Why is that?

Because the writer poured a piece of their soul into those pages. We find in their words a connection to someone else who at the very least imagines a pain similar to our own. We know someone in this world exists who understands us, who can truly imagine what it is like to be in our shoes. 

And those scenes, the ones that really mean something to us as readers, don't happen on accident. 

They are born out of the raw reality of the writer's own soul. They represent the heartaches and joys, the highest highs and soul-crushing lows of their progenitor. 

So while writing is the last thing, emotionally-speaking, that I feel like doing right now, it is, perhaps, the best thing to do. I'll take a pause, work through the emotions and the memories, and then pour those emotions into scenes which may one day be read by others seeking the same comradery and escape that I seek as I read today. 

Hold your loved ones a little tighter the next time you see them. Each day is a gift. And gifts are all the better when shared with those we love. 

Are you new to my writing/self-publishing journey? Check out my about me blog HERE

Today I've been doing some reflection. It's my one year author anniversary. At least, it was around this time last year (it's hard to tell an exact date at the end of June 2020) that I embarked on this incredible journey. So why not just claim today? 

'Wait,' you may say, 'Have you literally only been writing a year?'

Allow me to clarify. 

I've been writing my entire life; since grade school with crayons and construction paper and squiggly misspelled words. I've even released a couple flop books; ones I wrote in college and released unedited and unpolished. 
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In all that time, though, never once did I actually consider what I was doing to be more than dabbling in a hobby. Even when I self-published my first two YA books (the ones that flopped), I never expected anything to really come of it. I was young; I didn't know what I was doing, and I believed that the only way to make a living or be a 'real' author was to be traditionally published. 

And yet here I am, celebrating my one year author anniversary. 

'What's the difference?' you may wonder. Or maybe you're rolling your eyes and ready to walk away from this weird woman's blog. 

The difference, for those who have made it this far, is that one year ago today I claimed being an author as an identity. Writing is a career. Technical writing or writing for entertainment are both important. But an 'author' is a title, a noun to describe oneself. 

A year ago today I moved past the mental roadblock of  'I'm just a writer' (meaning I was just a person who also wrote), and accepted that writing is just a part of who I am. The Katherine D. Graham without writing, without expressing the dreams and stories inside, had something missing in her life. She felt unseen. Her dreams didn't matter.

I must thank my amazing husband, Jikyo, for being the one who saw me floundering a year ago and told me he believed I needed writing in my life. That I was a better person when I wrote regularly. And that my books were special (which meant a lot coming from the man who easily tears fiction novels apart). 

So here I am, one year later, on my one year author anniversary. And here's the key highlights of what has changed:

-I've embraced who I am as an author.
-I am happier and more motivated.
-Two novellas, Splitting Dusk and Down Falls The Queen are now avaialable..
-My debut Epic Fantasy Novel, The Vow That Twisted Fate, comes out in just a couple weeks (July 9th 2021).
-The Vow That Twisted Fate has already received awards.
-I am so humbled and honored to be a part of an amazing author community on Instagram and Facebook that I couldn't be here without.
-My amazing mentor Lindsey Teske has walked me step-by-step through being a writer into becoming an author.
-And I have writing dreams for the future!

If you are reading this and feel stuck, whether it's wanting to pursue writing or something else, please know that your dreams are worth pursuing. Don't wait for Monday. Don't wait for tomorrow. Embrace the challenges to come and the unknown. And become. Become who you are meant to be.

Want to follow my writing journey? Subscribe to my newsletter (and receive a free novella) HERE.

It's been a while since I posted about my favorite places to write, so I thought it'd be great to show another one of my favorite places to write: in bed. 

I have been a night-owl my entire life. As a child, reading in bed when the house was quiet was the time I stoked my imagination for the days to come. I am also known for my uncannily vivid (although far-fetched) dreams--yes Uro, if you're reading this I do remember the 'burritos crawling away'.  X-D 

One key piece of advice my mother gave me was to keep a journal nearby with recollections of the most vivid dreams I had when I awoke--good and bad. As I grew older, more and more of the most unique stories I envisioned were ones I jotted down laying there in one of my favorite places to write: in bed. 

If you're interested in reading more about some dreams that turned into novels I am publishing:

-Check out my debut Adult Epic Fantasy Novel: The Vow That Twisted Fate HERE.
-Check out my Kritinia Series: Shadow Child Novel HERE.
-Learn more about Spitting Dawn, a full-length novel in my Splitting Worlds series HERE.
-You can also see all my favorite places to write posts by following me on Instagram HERE.